Kick-off 2024 with hilarious New Year Jokes! These silly and funny Jokes for the New Year are sure to get you ringing the brand new year in the most amusing way.
This list of 91 Funny New Year Jokes is sure to keep everyone laughing way past midnight and well into the New Year! From New Year Dad Jokes, New Year knock knock jokes to one liners, New Year puns and riddles – we have got it all to keep everyone, from kids to adults, entertained.
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New Year Dad Jokes
Make way for the best New Year Dad Jokes! These jokes, like the classic dad jokes, are somewhat boring yet humorous! Perfect for everyone, from little kids, friends and family, these dad jokes are a fun way to warm up to the New Year humour!
1. What do New Year’s parades have in common with Santa Claus? No one is ever awake to see them!
Related: Check out equally Funny Would You Rather Christmas Questions!
2. What’s a cow’s favourite holiday? Moo Year’s Eve.
3. Did you hear about the woman who started fixing breakfast at midnight on Dec. 31st? She wanted to make a New Year’s toast!
4. What was Dr. Frankenstein’s New Year’s resolution? To make new friends!
5. What did a ghost say on New Year’s eve? “Happy Boo Year!”
6. Why are there so many vampires out on New Year’s night? For old fangs time!
Related: If you are a fan of everything spooky, make sure to check out these Hilarious Ghost Jokes!
7. What is corn’s favorite holiday? New Ears Eve!
8. Why should you invite a jeweller on New Year’s eve? To ring in the new year!
9. What resolution did a spider make for the New Year? To spend less time on the web!
10. What did the cat say at midnight on Dec 31st? “Happy Mew Year!”
11. Why do birds fly south for New Year’s Eve? Because it’s too far to walk!
12. What do you say when bidding farewell on Dec. 31st? See you next year!
13. Why was 6 afraid of 9 on New Year’s Eve? Because 9, 8, 7…!
Related: Check out 121 silly Math Jokes!
14. What do farmers give their wives at midnight on New Year’s Eve? Hogs and kisses!
15. What does every New Year have in store for us? Another 365 days!
16. Some astronauts wanted to have a New Year’s party on the moon, but they didn’t planet in time.
17. What do you call someone named Stephen on Dec. 31? New Year’s Steve!
18. I don’t like these Chinese New Year celebrations. They tend to Drag-on!
19. My New Year’s resolution is to stay out of shape. Maybe I won’t stick with this one either!
20. What does a caterpillar do on Jan. 1st? Turn over a new leaf!
21. What do snowmen like to do on New Year’s Eve? Chill out!
22. What should you never eat on New Year’s Eve? Firecrackers.
23. What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day? Happy New Cheer!
24. Why should you stand on your left foot during the New Year’s countdown? To start the New Year on the right foot!
25. What did the flute say to the champagne on New Year’s Eve? “You’re so bubbly!”
26. Why did the chocolate bar get bored on New Year’s Eve? It got tired waiting for a midnight Kiss!
27. Where do math teachers go for a New Year’s Eve party? Times Square.
28. What does a dad say on New Year’s Eve? “I promise I won’t tell any more dad jokes this year.”
Short New Year Jokes – One Liners
If you are looking for some clever New Year’s Eve one liner jokes, these are your best bet! These silly new year’s jokes are great for New Year parties and get-togethers and will get everyone laughing out loud!
29. New year? I just got used to this last one!
30. My resolution was to read more… so I put the subtitles on my TV.
31. I made a New Year’s resolution to stop procrastinating, but I’m going to wait for the new year to get started!
32. I love when they drop the ball at Times Square. It’s a reminder of what I did all year long!
33. An iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Year’s Eve. One was charged and the other was let off!
34. Dracula passed out at midnight on New Year’s Eve… there was a countdown!
35. I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year!
36. I would lose weight for my New Year’s resolution… but I hate losing!
37. My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
38. I don’t see any need to make more New Year’s resolutions when the ones already on the books aren’t being enforced!
39. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
40. “New year, new me!” Said the Covid-19 virus as it mutates!
41. I was going to quit all of my bad habits for the new year… But then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
42. This New Year I resolve to be less awesome… since that is really the only thing I do in excess!
43. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Sorry I suffer from premature congratulations!
44. I remember last year like it was yesterday!
Funny New Year Jokes For Kids
These funny new year’s jokes for kids will get your children in stitches and make you their favourite person! A great way to spend quality time together, these clean jokes about new beginnings are a great way to lead upto the New Years!
45. Who gets most excited for the New Year’s countdown? Calendar companies!
46. What did the bull say on January 1? “Happy New Steer.”
47. What did Adam say to Eve on Dec. 31st ? “It’s New Year, Eve.”
48. What is a New Year’s resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other.
49. Why didn’t Pluto throw Earth a birthday party on New Year’s Eve? He forgot to planet!
50. What does a ghoul say on Dec. 31? “Happy New Fear!”
51. What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day? “Happy New Cheer!”
52. Where can you practice multiplication tables on New Year’s Eve? Times Square!
53. What food should you avoid on New Year’s night? Fire crackers!
54. In what year did Christmas Day and New Year’s Day fall in the same year? Every year!
55. What’s the biggest con of New Year’s eve? The con-fetti!
56. What did the kids say about the New Year’s fireworks? “They were a blast!”
57. Where do herbs celebrate New Year’s? Thyme’s Square.
58. What does a field grow on Jan. 1? New Year’s hay!
59. Why was the mobile late for work on Jan. 1? It was busy ringing in the new year!
60. What happened to the man who stole a calendar on New year’s day? He got 12 months!
61. What’s the one group that hates New Year’s Day? The New Year’s Eve clean-up crew!
62. What did the little champagne bottle call his father? Pop!
63. What do kangaroos say to each other at midnight on Jan. 1? “Hoppy New Year!”
64. Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve? Waiting for the punchline!
65. What’s a couch potato’s New Year’s resolution? Cancel their gym membership from last year.
66. Why should you put your calendar in the freezer on New Year’s Eve? To start off the new year in a cool way!
67. What do you say to someone you see after midnight on New Year’s Day? I haven’t seen you since last year!
68. What did one traffic light say to another on New Year’s Eve? Close your eyes… I’m changing!
69. What do you say when bidding farewell on Dec. 31? “See you next year!”
70. What’s a digital camera’s New Year’s resolution? 1080p.
71. Why should you sprinkle sugar on your pillow on New Year’s Eve? To start the year with sweet dreams.
72. What did George Washington do in the days leading up to New Year’s? He made a New Year’s revolution.
73. What is a New Year’s resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other.
74. Every New Year’s Eve, I look forward to a good show at Times Square but they drop the ball every time!
New Year Knock-Knock Jokes
You cannot probably miss these hilarious Knock-Knock New Year Jokes! Knock-knock jokes pack silly humour and are sure to get even the grumpiest soul giggling.
75. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Hippy.
Hippy who?
Hippy New year, dude!
76. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Time.
Time who?
Time to get to Times Square!
77. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Luke!
Luke who?
Luke at the fireworks! Amazing aren’t they?
78. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Joe King.
Joe King who?
Joking like this on New Year’s Eve?
79. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby New Year!
80.Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Getting!
Getting who?
Getting ready for fireworks!
81. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Harry!
Harry who?
Harry up! Else you are going to be late for the New Year’s celebrations!
82. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Sip!
Sip who?
Sip, sip, hooray for New Year!
83. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Lettuce!
Lettuce who?
Lettuce enjoy the New Year!
84. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio not, it’s a New Year.
85. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Woo.
Woo who?
Calm down, the ball hasn’t dropped yet!
86. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Razor.
Razor who?
Razor glass and toast to a happy new year.
87. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Five!
Five who?
Five, four, three, two, one…its Happy New Year!
88. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
Hannah Happy New Year!
89. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Howie!
Howie who?
Howie going to stay up until midnight, you look tired already!
90. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Lettuce!
Lettuce who?
Please lettuce stay up late tonight!
91.Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Gladys!
Gladys who?
Gladys New Year!
FAQ
1. I remember last year like it was yesterday!
2. Who gets most excited for the New Year’s countdown? Calendar companies!
3. My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
4. What does a dad say on New Year’s Eve? “I promise I won’t tell any more dad jokes this year.”
5. Why do birds fly south for New Year’s Eve? Because it’s too far to walk!
6. What resolution did a spider make for the New Year? To spend less time on the web!
7. I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year!
