What could possibly be a better way to boost student engagement than Teacher jokes?Research advocates the use of humour in the classroom to effectively increase engagement and thus learning outcomes.
Teacher Jokes for students will make certain your pupils are listening and following the class. Classroom humour is an important teacher tool and when used appropriately, can lead to better learning.
These 101 corny teacher jokes will not only keep students bright and alert, but also serve as wonderful ice breakers as well as brain breaks.
Simply throw in a clean teacher joke or two in between your lessons to break the monotony and get everyone paying attention.
Hilarious Teacher Jokes
1. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil? Stop going in circles and get to the point.
2. Which dinosaur has the best vocabulary? Thesaurus-Rex
3. Teacher: “Name two pronouns?”
Student: “Who, me?”
4. Why did the kids cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
5. Teacher: Why are you late for school?
Student: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does the sign have to do with you being late?
Student: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”
Quick Tip: Throw in some funny knock knock jokes too for some twist in the fun.
6. What pencil did Shakespeare write with? 2B.
7. How do bees get to school? They ride the school buzz!
8. What is smarter than a talking dog? A Spelling Bee!
9. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Because her class was very bright!
10. I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know Y.
Related: Club these jokes with a few Back To School Would You Rather Questions to get kids talking.
11. Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel Prize? For being “out standing” in his field.
12. What is a smart student’s favorite candy? Smarties!
13. Why is a piano so hard to open? Because the keys are on the inside!
14. What do you call a belt made from watches? A waist of time.
Quick Tip: Sneak in a few questions of Science Trivia With Answers in between these jokes.
15. I have never met a three, but I have a metaphor!
16. What did the ghost teacher say to the class? “Look at the board and I will go through it again.”
17. If April flowers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims!
Related: Easter around the corner? Check out Easter Crafts to get started!
18. How many eggs do French folk have for breakfast? One. Because one egg is un œuf.
19. Did you know old math teachers never die? They just lose some of their functions!
Related: Love Math Jokes? Here is a collection of the Best Math Jokes to crack you up!
20. Which school teachers have the greenest thumbs? The kinder-garden teachers!
21. Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!
22. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom!
23. What do you call bears with no ears? B!
24. Whoever put the “b” in SUBTLE deserves a pat on the back.
25. What do you say to comfort a Grammar teacher? There Their They’re.
26. What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-Mean-Oh-Acid!
27. Why are witches good at writing? They are good spellers!
Related: Fancy these spooky jokes? Check out Halloween Jokes for spook-tacular fun!
28. What do you call Santa’s brothers and sisters? Relative clauses.
29. Double negatives are a big NO-NO.
30. Student: “Can I go to the toilet?”
Teacher: “I don’t know, can you?”
31. There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of you will get this.
Related: Club these jokes with Math Riddles For Students!
32. Went to the Fibonacci conference last week, and it was as good as the last two put together.
33. What do you call a teacher who forgot to take attendance? Absent-minded.
34. Who’s the king of the classroom? The ruler!
35. Teacher: What is the most common phrase used in school?
Student: I don’t know!
Teacher: Correct!
Quick Tip: Try these Back to School Games for Teachers to make class fun!
36. Never date an apostrophe. They’re too possessive.
37. One tectonic plate bumped into another one and said: “Oops, my fault!”
38. What is a teacher’s favourite nation? Expla-nation!
39. Teacher: Give me a sentence beginning with ‘I’.
Student: I is the…
Teacher: Remember you must say ‘I am’ not ‘I is’.
Student: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
40. Why did the teacher jump into the ocean? To test the waters!
41. What’s your favorite element? Helium. I can’t speak highly enough about it!
Quick Tip: Add in these Fun Science Riddles With Answers to get kids thinking!
42. What do you call a music teacher with problems? A trebled man!
43. Why was the geometry class always tired? Because they were all out of shape.
44. Last night my classroom was broken into and all of the dictionaries were stolen. I’m lost for words.
45. Since light travels faster than sound, people may appear smart until you hear them speak.
46. Be like a proton…Always positive!
Related: Also check out Science Pun and Jokes that are sure to amuse everyone!
47. Child: I think we need a new teacher.
Mom: Why’s that?
Child: Our teacher doesn’t know anything! She keeps asking us for the answers…
48. There are 10 types of people that understand binary. Those that do and those that don’t.
49. You can throw an envelope as far as you want, but it’ll still be stationary.
50. Teacher: What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
Student: I don’t know, I wasn’t invited!
51. Student: I don’t think I deserved zero on this writing test!
Teacher: I agree, but that’s the lowest mark I could give you.
Related: Try Writing Prompts to boost students’ writing skills!
52. What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Philippe Philoppe.
53. Teacher: I will always tell you to follow your dreams, but I’ll never let you sleep in class!
54. What’s a dentist’s favorite time of day? Tooth-hurty!
55. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws. The other is a pause at the end of a clause.
56. What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert? Pumpkin-Pi!
Related: Check out Best Classroom Math Games to make your class engaging!
57. Why was the fraction sceptical about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.
58. Why didn’t the banana go to school? It wasn’t peeling well!
59. What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisss-tory!
60. What do you call a group of friends who love math? AlgeBROS.
61. I always give 100% at school. 30% on Mondays, 25% on Tuesdays, 20% on Wednesdays, 15% on Thursdays and 10% on Fridays!
62. A neutron walks into a bar, and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender responds: “For you, no charge.”
63. Is it better to be hot or cold when playing tag during recess? Hot because you can always catch a cold!
64. I’ve been working on a Scandinavian joke. But it’s not quite Finnish.
65. Why does Sweden have barcodes on all of its ships? So they can Scan-di-navy-in.
66. I like Geography. You know where you are with Geography.
67. Did you hear about the kidnapping (kid-napping) at school? It’s OK, he woke up!
68. Why doesn’t the sun have to go to school? It’s bright enough!
69. What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper? A Fizzz-ician!
70. What did Mason say to Dixon? We’ve got to draw the line here!
71. How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars!
72. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they have honeycombs!
73. Do fish go on vacation? No, because they’re always in schools!
74. Why was WW1 so quick? Because they were Russian.
Why was WW2 so slow? Because they were Stalin.
75. A globe means the world to a Geography teacher.
76. I avoid clichés like the plague.
77. Last night I dreamt I wrote The Lord of the Rings. Then I realized I was just Tolkien in my sleep.
78. An atom was sitting by the side of the lab crying. A second atom came over and asked if the first atom was OK. The first atom replied “I think I’ve lost an electron,” to which the second atom asked, “Are you positive?”
79. Pascal, Newton, and Einstein are playing hide and seek. Einstein is counting. Pascal runs and hides but Newton draws a 1m square around himself. Einstein finishes counting and says: “Newton, found you.”
“No no, Einy. You’ve found one Newton per square meter. You’ve found Pascal!”
80. Why can’t basketball players go on vacation? They would get called for traveling!
81. When do you go on red and stop at green? When you’re eating a watermelon!
82. Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? Because it was overbooked!
83. Why is a baseball game a good place to go on a hot day? Because there are lots of fans!
84. Teacher: Why can’t freshwater fish live in salt water?
Student: The salt would give them high blood pressure.
85. What does a Math Teacher climb for fun? Geome-tree!
86. What is a pirate’s favorite subject? Arrrrrrt!
87. Why did the little girl like vegetables so much? She was a Kinder-gardener!
88. Teacher: If I had 8 oranges in one hand and 10 apples in the other hand, what would I have?
Student: Big hands!
89. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? Because she could not control her pupils!
90. Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?
Student: Not really.
91. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you? Pick them up and roll them back!
92. Teacher: What is the shortest month?
Student: May, it only has three letters.
93. How is an English teacher like a judge? They both give out sentences!
Quick Tip: Make english class fun with Vocabulary Activities For Students.
94. Teacher: If you got $20 from 5 people, what do you get?
Student: A new bike!
95. Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
96. What do you call an English teacher with a social media addiction? Instagrammar.
97. On the first day of school, what did the teacher say were her three favourite words? June, July and August.
98. Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out of the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?
Boy: Me! I’m going home now!
99. Teacher: “Make a sentence with the words “defense, detail and defeat”.”
Student: “When a horse jumps over the fence, the feet go before the tail.”
100. Teacher: “What is the definition of a lecturer?”
Student: “Someone with the bad habit of talking while other people are sleeping!”
101. Student: “Teacher, you wouldn’t punish me for something I didn’t do, right?”
Teacher: “Of course not.”
Student: “Good! Because I didn’t do my homework.”
Keep laughing!
FAQ
1. Never date an apostrophe. They’re too possessive.
2. Be like a proton…Always positive!
3. A globe means the world to a Geography teacher.
4. Double negatives are a big NO-NO.
5. You can throw an envelope as far as you want, but it’ll still be stationary.
1. How do bees get to school? They ride the school buzz!
2. What is a smart student’s favorite candy? Smarties!
3. Did you know old math teachers never die? They just lose some of their functions!
4. Who’s the king of the classroom? The ruler!
5. Why didn’t the banana go to school? It wasn’t peeling well!
